Tuesday 11 February 2014

Guest Post: The Magic Vagina, by Tellulah Darling

My youngest turns thirteen today! I can hardly believe it. He is officially a teenager and I am officially old. So, it's a good thing you have a hilarious guest post by Tellulah Darling to read, because I'm feeling a little sappy this morning. And trust me, you don't want to read what I write when I feel sappy.

The Magic Vagina
by Tellulah Darling

The magic vagina – what happened to the rest of the person?

Don’t you just looooove storytelling that reduces entire races down to a single characteristic instead of bothering to make them fully realized human beings? Why helloooo, Wise Asian. Thank you, Magical Black Person. Stay back, Scary Arab Guy.  And now, I am so happy to learn that we women have our own reductive trait sweeping books these days.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the magic vagina.

I just learned of this term from a friend of mine. See, I was ranting about a book in which, maybe 2 chapters in, the female protagonist had two guys in love with her and we hadn’t even met the third main one. Whose reality is this? Now, if she was a paragon of brains, wit, compassion, okay, maybe I could have sort of understood it. But the thing is, I didn’t have any sense of her personality at all. She was female. I might have been given a description, which I fail to recall, but even though the book was written in first person, I couldn’t flesh her out.  Which is where my friend explained about the magic vagina. And really, I can think of no other explanation for this character’s appeal.

Thing is, it sounds so friendly, doesn’t it? Make a wish on the magic vagina. Or maybe like a magic carpet. Hey, wanna take a ride on a magic vagina? Okay, maybe not.  I know it’s hard to bring characters to life. And yes, we absolutely draw on archetypes. Mentor figure? Use it all the time. But I hope that my mentor characters have more going for them then some kind of exotic otherness that for some reason automatically confers wisdom or some kind of higher spirituality on them.

I write female characters in romantic comedy novels. Talk about a genre with the potential for stock characters. Klutzy girl in Manolo’s anyone? My characters are teens and I think about this age group a lot and what kinds of fictional girls I want to be putting into the world since I know my daughter will be reading them at some point.

I want my characters to be strong, I want them to be funny, I want them to be smart, I want them to be flawed, and I want them by the end of their journey to have the kind of empowerment and pride in themselves that will catapult them into being fabulous women.  So that’s what I try and achieve. Without the use of the M.V.

That said, I’m thinking this magic vagina thing has potential as a series:  Magic vagina: Monte Carlo Nights  Magic Vagina: Grifter on the run  Magic Vagina: Home for the holidays  Publishers? Hollywood? Feel free to drive up that money truck.  Kidding …

Check out Tellulah's newest release!

My Date From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2)
by Tellulah Darling
Release Date: 10/31/13

Sophie Bloom’s junior year has been a bit of a train wreck. After the world’s greatest kiss re-awakened Sophie’s true identity as Persephone (Goddess of Spring and Savior of Humanity), she fought her dragon-lady guidance counselor to the death, navigated mean girl Bethany’s bitchy troublemaking, and dealt with the betrayal of her backstabbing ex, Kai (sexy Prince of Darkness). You’d think a girl could catch a break.

Yeah, right.

With Zeus stepping things up, it’s vital that Sophie retrieve Persephone’s memories and discover the location of the ritual to stop Zeus and Hades. So when Aphrodite strikes a deal that can unlock Sophie’s pre-mortal past, what choice does the teen goddess have but to accept?

The mission: stop media mogul Hermes from turning Bethany into a global mega-celebrity. The catch? Aphrodite partners Sophie and Kai to work together … and treat this
suicide mission as a date. Which could work out for Sophie’s plan to force Kai to admit his feelings for her–if she doesn’t kill him first.

Add to that the fact that BFF Theo’s love life and other BFF Hannah’s actual life are in Sophie’s hands, and suddenly being a teenager—even a godlike one—seems a bit like … well, hell. Whatever happened to dinner and a movie?

The YA romantic comedy/Greek mythology fireworks continue to fly inMy Date From Hell. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book two of this teen fantasy romance series. Breaking up is easy; dating is deadly.

Buy Links:

Goodreads links to other books in this series:

Don’t miss My Life From Hell, releasing March 20, 2014. Which is also spring equinox and the date of Sophie's final showdown with Zeus and Hades in the book.

About the Author

Tellulah Darling 
Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?
1. YA romantic comedy author because her first kiss sucked and she's compensating.
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter.
3. Sassy minx.

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

Tellulah Darling is a firm believer that some of the best stories happen when love meets comedy. Which is why she has so much fun writing young adult romantic comedy novels. Her tales span contemporary, teen fantasy romance, and YA Greek mythology, and range from stand alone books to series. For Tellulah, teen romance is the most passionate, intense, and awkward there is – a comedy goldmine. Plus smart, mouthy, teen girls rock.

Author Links:

1 mobi or epub of My Ex From Hell, My Date From Hell and A Date of Godlike Proportions. Open internationally.

Contest is void where prohibited. Entrants must be 13 or else have parent or guardian’s permission to enter. Winners will be notified via email and will have 48 hours to respond  or another winner’s name will be selected. Winning entries will be verified for authenticity.

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Tellulah Darling said...

Happy birthday to your youngest, Elizabeth! I get sappy on my kid's bday too, so happy to be here today with a guest post. :D Thanks so much for having me.

Elizabeth Holloway said...

It was our pleasure!